是的，眼前这风确实是悄无声息地到来的。没有呼啸，没有宣告，甚至是蹑着脚尖、试探着、一寸一寸浸润进来，带着几分怯懦且执拗的韧劲儿。好像它们去年来过，明岁依然会来，只不过，目下拂上面颊的丝丝缕缕却是全新的，如同赫拉克利特河中那不断流逝又不断涌现的独一无二的水流。这恰又不同于人类，人总喜欢在变动中寻找锚点，在无常里渴求恒常，却不知这静悄悄的、每个刹那都在流动的、不断更新的瞬间，才是宇宙最深情的常态和永恒。它不执着于任何一种形态，只是在发生、在流变，于是才拥有了永不枯竭的生命。
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Carroll's argument draws on decades of research, which he put together in his report, The Soulmate Trap, much of which distinguishes between what psychologists call "destiny beliefs" - the idea that the right relationship should feel effortless - and "growth beliefs", which focus on what partners can do to make things work.